I cannot help it I must tell the truth I have had this compulsion this complete obsession that I cannot shake off till this very day. I work hard not to feed this addiction of mine but it is tiring I cannot keep up this obsession is feeding its self. I love the fairer kind although I have never been one to fornicate or even desire multiple affairs I still love them. I think my addiction may be fuelled by the fact that I have never courted an individual of the fairer species. There have been others that by the grace of the lord I would have loved to court I just was not on par with them. One might think I am a perverted individual but it is not about coitus it never has been not that I do not want it or even think about it I do. This compulsive obsession is like a junkie looking for his next fix. I have this deep yarning I cannot account for. I am also obsessed with the past trapped is the precise word. I’m not just obsessed with any past it is my past and the people in my past. Even in my own head I seem to be fixed on the past I live in the present and it’s not that I neglect the present but I am focused in the past even women in the past. I cannot explain is it there eyes, hair, beautiful looks is it their curvaceous bodies or their fragility their compassion, is it their attitude or maybe it’s in the way they move laugh or even smile. I am picky when it comes to the women I want but I am not unreasonable I seem to want it all.